Counting Gifts, Finding Joy

Poem & Reflection written by Amanda Akande

At times my bend

Is to despair.

I find that it only

Makes things worse.

I thought I’d try

Something new.

It slowly began

To make things better.

I open my eyes to another day. Whirling inside of my head are all the things that loom before me. Every child that needs taken care of (4), every household chore that needs accomplished, and the myriad of other things that need my attention. Instantly, I am overwhelmed. My mind starts to spiral, “How will I get everything done?” My emotions follow suit: overwhelm, despair, and sadness swirling around together. Often, I would get out of bed feeling defeated before the day even began.

One of my deepest desires is joy, maybe because it has always felt elusive or hard to keep. My motherhood journey started almost 10 years ago, and it has been a journey into joy. Today, I want to share with you one of the tools that has been a pivotal entrance into this place of joy.

I read a book, over a decade ago, called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The premise essentially was that counting gifts, or things you are grateful for, is an entryway into joy. I took this very seriously. I opened up a new journal and sat down and began to count the gifts in my life. I reached one thousand gifts easily. I could see all the abundance instead of only the lack. This practice of naming and writing down what I was grateful for became a lifesaver for me years later when I was deep into motherhood.

Let’s go back to those days I opened my eyes and let despair enter in. Sometimes it felt easy to just sit in the place of despair. But what I found was that it never made the day easier. Actually, those days, when I let despair rule, made for the hardest days. It made motherhood harder, and I didn't show up for my family the way I desired. I knew I wanted joy, but what was I going to choose to do to find joy again? July 31st, 2025, I decided I would go back to that practice of writing down all the things I was grateful for.

Each morning, for over 6 months, I would write down everything I could think of that I was grateful for. Things such as coffee (I was grateful for that multiple times ha!), sunrises, birdsong, and my beautiful children. I could see the gift in each of these. I also began to see other things as gifts: the dishes in the sink that meant we had food and healthy children, the mess on the floor that meant my children were alive and able to play, and the roof over our heads that others in the world don’t have. What a life I live!

Slowly, the despair began to recede, and joy took its place. It was a practice that changed the way I saw, and therefore the way I thought. And surprisingly, as my perspective and thoughts shifted, my emotions followed suit. So how did this play out in my day to day of motherhood?

As a new day dawned, I opened my eyes. Some days the flood of all I had to do still came, but now I was better equipped to see. The daily practice of seeing the gifts in my life allowed joy to remain, even when despair threatened. No, I wouldn’t choose to despair any longer. I had a new way of seeing. I would let gratitude, and therefore joy, be the thread that determined my days. I was able to show up for my children with joy, gratitude, and a better attitude. I engaged them as the joy and gifts that they are instead of the duty or burden that life threatened to feed me. I was able to invite my kids into this practice of naming all the things we are grateful for, and I saw it change them!

I want to invite you, no matter where you are in your journey, to see the gifts all around you. I want to encourage you to write down what you are grateful for each day, and see how this practice changes you. What joy might be found? What perspective might change? I hope this tool and practice is as impactful for you as it has been for me.

Counting each gift

As they come

Changed how I

See my life.

Now my bend can be

An overflowing

Overwhelming

Joy that remains.

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Amanda Akande is an avid reader and novice poet, writing from the middle of her ordinary life—one that is, in many ways, quite extraordinary—to help others see the goodness, beauty, and grace in their own ordinary, yet extraordinary, lives. She is grateful to spend her days living out her favorite roles: wife and mother.

These blog posts are reflections from the Little Way community — real stories from real parents. Find out more about membership here.